When it Stops Being a Diet
Every once in a while, I think, it is only proper to take a break from things you love. I love cooking and baking and planning, creating and writing for this blog, but all that meant, was at some point it would take away from my 'responsibility' time. You know like the adult stuff we all have to do? And I absolutely dread moments like that because not only is my hobby my ‘fun’ time, it’s also my way of staying in check.
The reason I put effort in this blog is because I have stitched it into my life. Without the fun of creating food, I forget my dietary values –or more so, I am reminded of the lack of it in the vile aftermath (which I will not even go into). It happens after a full day of errands, classes, phone calls, and meetings. Even though I brought my own lunch to school, as I am getting home, I feel like I deserve some In-n-Out –and don’t get me wrong I deserve it—but I completely pretend certain foods like gluten, sugars, and other processed shit don’t affect my body, then of course, that imaginary world dies after 3 hours of consuming and lasts for two to three days. The next morning I’ll feel like complete shit: groggy, lack of appetite, uncomfortable –so I won’t eat breakfast, maybe forget to take my supplements, and I’ll probably go to Philz and get a mint mojito (when I am perfectly capable of making my own at home without sugar), and before I know it, it’s a full circle. Instead of rolling back into the dietary lifestyle that is suited for my needs, both my mental and physical fatigue thinks I need more sugar, more caffeine, more processed foods, and if it’s really bad, I’ll pick up a donut from Whole Foods and completely ignore my sensitivity to gluten. A cycle of repeated sins, post elimination diet.
But that’s basically what happened when I decided to put my blog on a short-term hold. After experiencing what it must feel like getting kicked in the gut by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I decided that I can’t keep yo-yo-ing like this when life becomes busy. Even though it doesn’t happen as often, it still doesn’t do any good to me.
I asked my sister-in-law to help me out when we go on our Disneyland trip next week. “Don’t let me go after the churros and funnel cakes,” I don’t want be miserable and waste an hour on a toilet that’s been sat on by millions before me, just because I blacked out and ate ten cheeseburgers.
What does this mean from here on? It means I need to remain true to myself and remember that food is apart of who I am. I need to remember that eating good fats, leafy greens, sustainable proteins and other quality ingredients, such as my beautiful breakfast this morning, is what treats me right and I need to embrace that. It also means I’m going to do better and because I am so attached to this blog, you’ll see more of it in addition to baked goods. While I will remain making desserts, I’ll try to improve the ingredients each time –besides it’s not like I even eat a slice of cake I made (this is only reason I have friends). Speaking of pastries, I have some great news coming this way. Sit tight chickens.