It took me this long, like my entire-life long, to figure out this whole healthy lifestyle thing, and maybe I don’t have it all figured out but I have a big chunk of it figured out and I want to share that with you. I can’t say, “I wish I could go back and slap some sense into me when I was calorie counting,” because regrets are non-existantal to me. That stupid saying, ‘everything happens for a reason’ is kind of true. It doesn’t mean there’s some destiny out there waiting to happen, but instead it means you learn from everything you do, so if you would have rather go back and change your path or choice, you wouldn’t have learned from your mistakes. Do you follow?
It’s 12:29am and I spent nearly all day doing nothing because after Monday’s final, I got in a car and drove all the way to Anaheim and spent two days at Disneyland pretending like my real life didn’t exist. While it sounds like a thing most people would rather do —avoid responsibilities— it really becomes exhausting, and that my friend is why I wasted my Thursday. I woke up, showered half asleep, went to yoga half asleep, went grocery shopping half asleep, came home to drink 3 cups of coffee and bing-watched Malcolm in the Middle until I felt like I could take a nap, got into bed and continued to bing-watch MITM on my phone half asleep, threw towels in the wash and remained half asleep until my husband came home. Even the dogs didn’t poke their nose at me. Not a single poke. Every time I walked by (half asleep of course) the living room, they lied on their beds, motionless, as if they were dead. it’s 12:29am and I spent all day half asleep and I’m beginning to forget where this blog post is going.
Oh right. Healthy lifestyle, blah blah blah.
Last week, for a second, I asked myself, maybe I should cut out carbs completely. I should focus on protein and fats and watch my waistline reduce. Every morning, I woke up with the aim that I wouldn’t have any sort of carbs (this meant beans, starchy vegetables, gf oatmeal, fruits and sugars). Most of my mornings already start out this way unintentionally, but then as the day went along, I noticed I would have a mini freak-out when I was eating a bunch of veggies —how many grams of carbs are in this unmeasured amount of Brussels sprouts??????????? — uhhhhhhh. No.
Once I snapped back to reality, I became more happy and less stressed out and I noticed it. Just that tiny recognition helped me see how food is my best friend. I already do so well with what I consume so why should I make it harder on myself? Sure, like most of us, I want to lose weight, in the midsection most particularly, but I don’t want my relationship with food to be miserable. I already do so well with the choices I make, shouldn’t that be enough? Someone out there is probably saying no, but I say yes. It’s my body and seeing how my moods shifted when I decided that I’ll just continue to eat the way I’ve been eating these last eight months: good, clean, whole fucking foods, is enough for me to KNOW that I’ve made my choice and I’m staying here. It's kind of like when you've been dating someone for a while and you have a moment where you're like, I'm gonna marry him/her/they --that's probably a really bad example.
I don’t want to get political with how awful the food industry is or be a poster-girl for food revolution, but I do think that it’s important for people to realize that a simple change (or maybe not so simple to some) in your diet can make a huge difference. And not everyone is the same.
It took me this long to realize that eating healthy in this way without limiting myself is truly the best way for me. I've already lost a significant amount of weight in this process and I'll probably lose more if I continue but I have to let it go at its own pace. You can't rush a relationship without the some consequences. Now that I've got this part down, I can focus on bettering my exercise routine. Have I told you my sister-in-law and I signed up for yoga asanas? I'm looking forward to creating a balance between my current training routing and yoga. I'll let you know how that goes! --I should probably get to bed.